Why Fifty Shades of Grey Destroys True Intimacy

Every day at my job I see the destructive influence of pornography and violence on women and children.  I see it in the police reports and protection orders that come across my desk daily.  Real people.  Real faces.  Real lives destroyed by someone else’s desire for sexual gratification through violence and intimidation.

I am here to tell you that true intimacy does not bring pain.

True intimacy does not bring shame or guilt.

True intimacy is not selfish, but places the well-being and pleasure of your partner above your own.

God designed sexual pleasure and intimacy to be fulfilled in marriage between one man and one woman.  It is a picture of the spiritual intimacy and oneness that God wants to have with each one of us.  This intimacy is tender and imparts great value on the other person, never degradation or unworthiness.

Sexual violence in any form destroys women and will destroy your marriage and family.

Sexual fantasy and pornography lead to lust.  There is a huge difference between lust and true intimacy.

Pornography and sexual fantasy are like heroin.  You start using a small amount and tell yourself you have your habit under control.  This is a lie from hell.  Like an addict your brain needs more and more erotic stimulation, degradation and violence to be satisfied.   This destructive cycle leads to heartbreak and ruined lives.

You may have been told that Fifty Shades of Grey is harmless and will spice up your love life.  I caution you that in reality you are exposing your mind and heart to destructive fantasy that is degrading to women and will destroy the intimacy of your marriage.

Please do not bring this book or movie into your home.  As with any book or movie, ask yourself, “Would I want my son or daughter to have access to this material?”  More importantly, would you want your daughter to experience this kind of sexual violence?  Would you want your son to inflict pain and violence on his partner?

God’s design for sexual intimacy in marriage is a beautiful thing.  It is designed for pleasure and oneness.  In my next post I will provide a list of books that will help you find true intimacy and fulfillment in your marriage.


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